I am deeply in pain. All my bags are packed and I’m ready to go and leave all behind. It’s easter and this is all I’ve got. Pain. Suffering. They are Big Right and I am Enormous Wrong. They only see what they want to see well how about me? I’ve got my eyes too.
Them versus me. I’m a rebel and a kid and a black sheep daughter with dues and credits to pay the rent, the bills, the food, the chores, and my stay on my own house. I am ranting like a stupid, stubnorn and self centered freak out here.
By the way I had bulging, swelling and red eyes here. Oh plus a clogged nose from crying and sobbering so hard silently. Here comes mosquitos and bites everywhere. Their nasty and no mercy at all.
Oops I just heard her famous SMART MOUTH. She’s becoming her boss that is judgmental and has a smart mouth too. Ooh I can see their resemblance. It’s like their twins and blood related.
I can see clearly. No doubt. No wonder why. Well for how many years of service she rendered to her boss then automatically the stink and rotten attitude passed on. She just can’t appreciate. She just can’t stop her mouth. She just can’t disseminate task. She sees only the poor me.
I’m just her nobody. I’m just her daughter-who-should-pay-and-render-service-after-all-these-years-they’ve-invested-on-me. Poor and Unfortunately Soul as what the famous line of Ursula but I’m no mermaid at all. Nah uh.
I’m invinsible. In their eyes I’m just a speck of an unwanted dust and grossed dirt. I only exist when they knew and observed that I need to be rid off out from their precious and perfect eyes. Yeah they are way cooler and perfect for me. I can’t and will not reach them. Not in my wildest dream. No more.
Yep, it’s one of the many hella days. I’m no good Christian when I wrote this and that is just what it is now. I committed sin AGAIN after I confessed yesterday. Tsk. I’m in big trouble. Sorry G. I owe you a lot. Pardon me. Oh, am I calming down now? Maybe. Probably the mad-and-fierce-hormones in me slowed down and reduced the anger inside.
Breathe in, breathe out. I’m taking my time but the resentment is not yet over. I know myself. God knows myself. Okay. This is it for now. The kosquitos are killing me. I will not wonder maybe later and soonest I’ll be diagnosed with dengue due to these bites with an S. Poor me. Can’t help I’m outside of the house and no lights spared here.
Adios.